Monday, October 26, 2015

TMI Time

I've been in Texas for the past 19 days, taking care of middle-aged lady problems. After years of suffering through all sorts of annoying monthly issues when we absolutely knew our family of four was complete, I decided to finally take the plunge and close down the defunct baby making machinery. Adios cervix, uterus and fallopian tubes.

If ya gotta get the lady parts removed, I highly recommend the laparoscopic robot assisted hysterectomy. Four little incisions covered in what looks like rubber cement, a bottle of way too many pain pills and a bladder full of blue dye that makes the toilet look like I've been drinking glasses full of Windex. That's all it takes to make the monthly yuckies go away.

I'm back home in the UK as of yesterday. The husband, daughter and dog survived in my absence thanks to the help of a cleaning lady, dog walker and calendar I created to keep them on track. For the 9th grader I imported the usual bath products in fall scents from her favourite non-clothing store in the mall, plus some candy corn and new leggings she requested. Now it's back to life as usual after a lovely fall hiatus of shopping, dining, surgery and recovery at my mother's home in the Texas hill country. I could get used to this every October... minus the lady parts removal, of course.

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