Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Momcation 2011-2012

The 2011-2012 school year started today.  Can I get a hallelujah or praise Jesus?  The girls hustled downstairs in their brand spanking new uniforms, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.  This will probably be the only morning my teenage daughter voluntarily rolls out of bed before the alarm goes off.  I snapped the following pic in front of the house as they prepared to head off for 5th and 11th grades.  

And no, Miss Teenage Thang is NOT completely in uniform thanks to the Sperry's on her feet.  Right after I took this pic, I had her go back upstairs to put on a pair of "plain leather shoes in navy, black or brown with a rigid sole whose heel height does not exceed 2 inches" per the dress code section in the upper school handbook.  At least wait until the second day of school to start breaking the rules.

All those moms who get teary-eyed when their kids start kindergarten, who lament the fact that their darlings are growing up way too fast... are you nuts or what?  Motherhood is all about being selfless and I feel like a total of 24 years spent rearing my two chicks in the family nest without anyone having to call CPS or the sheriff's department on me when I threaten one of them with bodily harm upon discovering they've left dirty clothes on their bathroom floor for the third time this week is ample evidence of my love.  

According to a news release from the USDA a couple months ago that was reported by Bloomberg, a middle-income family with a child born in 2010 can expect to spend in excess of $220,00 to raise that child until he or she graduates from high school.  Then you get to spend an equally big chunk on their college education for the next four years.  Plus you have to factor in other necessities like a car because mom's chauffeur service has closed its doors.  We can't discount the possibility of sorority costs and the fact that her wardrobe must continue to be maintained at the level to which she had become accustomed while living under our roof.  I imagine somebody in our family will probably need a shoe and/or handbag intervention at some point since dorm rooms won't have spacious walk-in closets to accommodate her massive collection.

Let's do a little math, shall we, for some perspective.  The average cost for a 7 day Mediterranean cruise in an upper deck balcony room is around $3000 per couple.  If you're gonna dream, dream big.  So assuming it costs my husband and I $12,000 per month to live in style on a cruise ship with basically all of our expenses covered, then we could have spent over three years of our lives sailing on the high seas while enjoying exotic ports of call.  I imagine that when you add the cost of two college degrees for both girls, it will be more like six years of midnight buffets, nightly turndown service and those fun towel animals that I could have been enjoying in my old age.

But now I'm digressing all over the place.  I hope both girls are blessed with a happy and successful school year.  May they make amazing friends, excellent grades and wonderful memories.  And me... I'm gonna enjoy the next 9 months grocery shopping without anyone trying to throw Double Stuff Oreos or Ben and Jerry's in the basket, the silence of no one squabbling over whether they're having grilled cheese sandwiches or chicken nuggets with fries for the millionth lunchtime meal, and complete control of which daytime programs I watch on TV since the remote control is mine, all mine from 7:40-3:50.


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