Friday, August 12, 2011

My Most Flattering Side

In anticipation of some blog posts about our travels this summer, and my continued efforts to ignore the fact that the shower door needs a thorough descaling with the heavy duty chemicals that will also remove the first couple layers of skin on my hands, I decided to flip through our summer pictures this afternoon.  As I clicked through hundreds of pics on the computer, I was struck by how much influence my teenage daughter has over the content of our vacation pictures, and hence memories.

What I found humorous is how many shots are taken from behind the subject.  I don't know if my daughter read this somewhere, learned it in an art class or just thinks it would make an interesting study of the folks in the picture.  I guess it doesn't really matter because I was amazed at the number of backsides captured in our files.  Just what I wanna see - my big old derriere gracing about a third of our pictures we'll be trotting out in the years ahead, fondly recalling all of the fabulous places we've visited... and how mom's butt keeps creeping closer and closer to the back of her knees.  

Here is my butt, the one on the right, strolling down a street in the Guell Colonia on the outskirts of Barcelona.  It was a bit cool outside because it was overcast, so at least my shawl is covering up part of my rear end.

In this shot, Jason and I are walking along a path in Bavaria near Linderhof Castle.  What's with the white shorts and now white capris?  Note to self - black will make my junk in the trunk look a bit smaller, so start packing those for vacation.

This one is probably my fave backside shot here in front of Notre Dame cathedral in Paris because it's taken from further away and hence my butt doesn't appear quite so large.  And enough already - quit wearing those same damned white capris all summer.  From the front they look flattering, but not so much from the back.  Don't get me started on the Vera Bradley purse I've carted all over Europe.  I need to send a collage of the pics in to the VB corporate office and see if I can get a freebie or two for all of my advertising efforts across the continent.

And here I am, in all my untouched glory aboard the hop on-hop off bus in Paris.  The oldest daughter mentioned that she could get rid of "all those lines" on my face before I posted this pic.  If only it were that easy to erase the turkey neck, marionette folds, crow's feet and undereye bags.  The one good thing I can say about this pic - at least I don't have lipstick on my teeth.  

Hmmm... thus far I've had to choose between butt or face shots.  It seems to me that I need to start standing in profile on all future trips as long as I can remember to suck in my gut.

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