Monday, September 17, 2012

Mrs. Clean

If my daughters are ever asked if they were raised in a barn, I don't want them nodding their heads in the affirmative.  I'm not the obsessive consummate housekeeper my granny was, but I give the house a serious top to bottom cleaning several times a month.  I clean the kitchen really well every day, do laundry every other day and vacuum up any dog hair that decides to join forces with dust on the floor typically twice per week.  

I think the girls and husband are under the impression that I enjoy the process rather than the end result of a bleachy clean home.  I don't wanna have to answer to the UK version of America's Center for Disease Control if our pigpen lifestyle results in us contracting bubonic plague in the kitchen or culturing flesh eating bacteria in the bathroom.  

It takes a village to dirty up the house, yet little ol' me to get it all spic and span again.  The teen always gets a heads up the day before I plan to do the "big" clean, which includes her Superfund bedroom.  It's not that it's dirty or gross, but just a total wreck with clothes and shoes and beauty accessories scattered everywhere.  If I can't walk to her dresser to dust it without first using a shovel to clear a path, then I'm just gonna have to close the door and wait until she gets home from school to shovel it herself.  The 6th grader is easily guilted usually compliant about having her room ready when I give her the one day notice.  The husband gets off easy since we share a room and I refuse to let it look like we're auditioning for that hoarders show.

What cracks me up is when some member of the family tells me I don't have to clean the house.  Really?  Are the fairy maids gonna come in tonight while we're all sleeping and do it for me?  Do you really wanna eat off the same dirty plate or use the same food crusted fork for a couple days because cleaning isn't necessary?  I firmly believe clean underwear and a toilet seat you're not afraid to sit on in your own home are an absolute must.  So by golly we will treat this house like a home rather than a barn.  I've got a collection of well-used toilet bowl brushes and I'm not afraid to use them.

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