Monday, November 9, 2015

Plane 'plaints

I've been racking up the miles this year with roundtrip flights across the Atlantic, a total of 4.5 thus far. Now that I've hit silver status, I have automatic access to the lounge, woo-hoo! The gratis food and beverages - including booze - are nice, but I have a greater appreciation for comfy couches and access to wifi.

Going to the airport is no different than the bus or train station because you see a little bit of everything. And then it gets on the plane with you. Last month, there was a retired gal who was sporting a brown velvet track suit with gold studs on the jacket. It immediately reminded me of this other retired gal mother and I met on a Christmas markets cruise several years ago that wore a different coloured track suit every day we were onboard. That's not a particularly flattering look for the grannies, though at least the old girls don't have some slogan emblazoned across their sagging backsides on the pants.

Then there are the loud talkers that drive me nuts. Seriously, scoot closer to whomever you're talking to and lower your danged voice. Nobody wants to hear how you're disappointed with the food. What - you don't fly for the fine dining experience? Or can't figure out how to control the volume on the entertainment screen. Here's a hint - take off your headphones first before asking your spouse or seat mate for assistance. And please, for the love of all that's holy, we absolutely do not want to hear about how flying upsets your stomach as you launch into a detailed account of your recent trip to the toilet. Just no.

I obviously need to bite the bullet and invest in some noise cancelling headphones to improve my overall flying experience. Either that or risk getting hauled off the plane by the sky marshal for losing my cool at 30,000 feet with the guffawing, gum snapping folks flying the sometimes not-so-friendly skies.

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